“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;”^[1]

In my experience of American Culture, at least those of European descent, we tend to cling to death as a time to mourn, a time to be safe. Yet we are also Episcopalian and so death is more than that; it is a time to rejoice, to dance, to celebrate the life of the one who died and the fact that they are now with Christ. This does not mean that those who are left behind should not feel sad, of course, we are sad that the loved one is no longer with us.

If we lose someone who is young it is the loss of future and possibility; of youth and innocence. If we lose someone who is older it is the loss of our memories and past. I have heard adult children talk about losing their parents and hear about how they no longer are connected to their childhood in the same way. A person lost in middle age is the loss of the present, of the middle age. These losses are and should always be felt deeply. Looking at death, we can be both grieving and joyful in the same moment.

Episcopal Service
"By the passion of Christ, death is transformed. Now it bears only the name of death. It is now rest, while awaiting Christ’s return and our bodily resurrection unto life or judgement.”^[2]

The Book of Common Prayer offers a service to guide through the emotions of grief in a structured and helpful format. My favorite aspect of the service is that it opens with the Anthem of the Resurrection. This reminds those who grieve that we are drawing closer to the resurrection. The person lost has just entered into a new phase of being with Christ; and this is joyful.  The service then turns toward “The Comfortable words” reminders that we are waiting and pointing toward Christ.

In fact, the entire service reminds those gathered that they are in fact waiting for Christ together, particularly when we pray for the one who was lost.  If Communion is given during a service it is a reminder of being both at the table grieving and of the rejoicing of the person being in heaven.

The Commendation is a time when we collectively acknowledge the leaving of the Spirit from Earth and returning to God. This is the part of the service when we implore The Creator to do what God has already done; accept the spirit of our loved one into His fold.^[3]

In the midst of and after a great pandemic the losses are piling up in our church community, the community at large, and the world. Many of you may be grieving. The Book of Common Prayer offers something unique for us: a structured way to know what to say and feel at a time when many people feel out of their element. There are prayers you can pray inside the prayer book. If you are grieving for someone at this time, please know we at St. Dunstan’s are there to walk with you on this path. We have resources, such as Stephen Ministers and the Pastoral Care team. I have been amazed at the way this church walks with those who are grieving.

My prayers are with you this week and always. 

^[1] Ecclesiastes 3:1-4

^[2] A Christian Ending. p.62

^[3] The idea of The Good Shepherd comes from Psalm 23 and John 10:11-16