I was seven years old and in the second grade at a small school in a mountainous town 180 miles northwest of Medellin, Colombia. On a beautiful and sunny day in April, I collapsed on the school’s soccer field. I was brought by ambulance to the city where the doctors diagnosed me with a serious heart condition. After the hospital, I was to stay in the city with family members on a seven-month recovery, under close medical observation. My mother and two eldest siblings were in the United States and my father’s farm had no electricity, so home with the distant cousins I went. I remember hearing the discharge nurse tell my aunt (who wasn’t really my aunt): “Make sure he rests, he is very sick. We would be surprised if he makes it to the age of 20!”
Resting at home, I prayed that God would let me experience a few things before he took me: “Let me see my mother one more time. Let me graduate high school. Let me become a priest in your church, even if it is for one day!” When I left seminary in Belgium, after 2 years of a Master’s degree in Theology, and met Chris (9 months after,) I prayed for a new list: “Let me see my first child, let me graduate from my MSW, and let me leave my wife some financial security.”
It was when my eldest was 2 years old that I decided to go to a cardiologist in New Jersey to confirm my childhood condition. After a number of tests, the professionals determined that I had had a small hole in my heart, which had healed over time and posed absolutely no danger to my life. I had lived in severe anxiety for over 20 years, thinking that every cold, every fever, and every chest palpitation was the beginning of the end.
The list of prayers morphed a bit then: “Let me have a few more children, let me provide for my family and leave my wife some financial security, and let me meet the first of my grandchildren (at least.)” As you all know, I had a total of four children, Emily, Bec, Austin, and Sarah. I am now on my way of accomplishing some financial security for Chris in a combination of life insurance, retirement, investments, and her own great career. And today I met Izzy, my first granddaughter, an incredibly beautiful baby whose picture I will post soon.
Living with my mortality front and center in my mind, that sense that everything can end quite suddenly, has made me more joyful and thankful for everything that comes my way. Only God can determine how long we live, and now I am more concerned with the quality than the quantity of my days. I know God can be trusted and he has a plan for my life. However long that life may be, I have already tasted the sweetness of his grace! To him be the honor and glory, Amen!
Blessings to you,
Fr. Roman+
