“Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” — Psalm 37:4 (ESV)
The late Bishop William Cox once gave the opening address at the North American Conference of the Order of St. Luke the Physician, an international healing ministry. Having known and respected Bishop Cox for many years, I listened intently as he talked about answered prayer.
He began by reminding everyone that not only does God hear our prayers, but He always answers. Sometimes He says, “Yes.” Sometimes He says, “No.” And sometimes He says, “Not now.” I was nodding like a bobblehead in agreement when he added, “There’s another way God answers prayer. Sometimes He says, ‘You decide.’” YOU DECIDE!
No, I thought. How can that be? If God is God, and I am not, how can I be making a decision that belongs to Him?
As I pondered Bishop Cox’s unsettling words, I thought back to the times when, as a parent, my own children would ask me for things. Sometimes the answer was a flat “No”—or, as my wife would say, not just “no,” but “no-no”! Usually, a no meant that granting their request would be dangerous or inappropriate. A loving parent does not give a child everything the child wants. Sometimes love requires setting boundaries, even when those boundaries are unpopular.
In our relationship with God, we can trust that He knows what is good for us, even when we do not understand His answer. Although He does not promise to shield us from every hardship, He guides us toward what is good and sustains us when life brings pain and difficulty.
Many times, I would say yes to my children’s requests, not merely because their requests were reasonable, but because I genuinely enjoyed seeing them receive good things. I believe our Heavenly Father is like that. He delights in blessing His children. The verse from Psalm 37 reminds us to take delight in the Lord. This does not mean that God promises to grant every wish that crosses our minds. Rather, as we grow closer to Him, our desires increasingly reflect His goodness and His purposes for our lives. God wants to give us good things, and He wants us to discover the joy of living in relationship with Him.
Occasionally, I would tell my children, “Not now.” I stopped using “We’ll see” because my daughter always thought that meant “Yes”! Sometimes their requests were perfectly reasonable, but the timing was not right, either for them or for me. A loving parent understands that a good thing at the wrong time may not be a good thing at all. God sees our lives from a perspective we cannot possibly possess. We may have to wait for an answer, trusting that He knows what we cannot yet see.
Then there is that fourth answer: “You decide.”
Most parents want their children to grow into responsible, mature adults who can think for themselves and make wise decisions. When the available choices are all good, why not let them choose? If I have already said yes to the ice cream, and we are at Baskin Robbins, shouldn't my child be allowed to choose the flavor? I don't need to consult a committee, call a family meeting, or spend three days in prayer over the matter!
God has created us in His image and given us a remarkable gift: free will, the ability to weigh our options and make choices. That freedom brings both privilege and responsibility. We can choose wisely or foolishly, lovingly or selfishly. Our choices can lead us toward God’s purposes or away from them.
Rather than stifle the freedom He has given us, God invites us to exercise it responsibly. We are not robots, programmed to follow a predetermined set of instructions. We are people who can think, discern, love, and choose. When we face decisions, we should certainly pray for wisdom and seek God's guidance through Scripture, prayer, and the counsel of others. But we should not assume that every decision requires a special sign from heaven. Sometimes, after we have prayed and considered our options, we can move forward confidently and make a choice. Perhaps that is what Bishop Cox meant when he said that sometimes God answers, “You decide.”
When the options before us are good, and we have sought to make our choices in the light of God's wisdom, we can exercise our freedom with confidence. We need not be paralyzed by the fear of making the one wrong choice when there may be several good choices available to us.
God has given us the freedom to choose, and He wants us to use that gift wisely. And when we choose what is good, loving, and faithful, we can trust that our choices bring joy to our Heavenly Father.
Prayer: Father, thank You for loving me enough to give me the freedom to make choices. Help me to seek Your wisdom, listen for Your guidance, and recognize when I must wait, when I must say no, and when I may confidently decide for myself. Teach me to use the freedom You have given me for my own growth and for the good of others. In Jesus' name. AMEN.
Fr. Steve+
