“ Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults—unless, of course, you want the same treatment. Don’t condemn those who are down; that hardness can boomerang. Be easy on people; you’ll find life a lot easier. Give away your life; you’ll find life given back, but not merely given back—given back with bonus and blessing. Giving, not getting, is the way. Generosity begets generosity.” Luke 6:37 MSG
A former bishop of mine had an unusual practice. He not only allowed but openly invited complaints, criticism and differences of opinion. Anyone was free to complain to him about anything, but with one stipulation: For every complaint, bring at least one alternative solution. There was no guarantee that the solution you proposed would be acted upon, but it did force folks to consider both sides of an issue before passing judgment. Sadly, there were still those who would rather criticize than cheer. We all know that it is easier to find faults than solutions, yet the urge to criticize others remains a powerful temptation for most of us, even in the church. Perhaps it is time to break the twin habits of negative thinking and critical speech. In the words of the late Zig Ziglar, maybe we need a “check up from the neck up.”
Negativity is highly contagious, especially in the church. We give it to others who, in turn, pass it on or give it back to us. It is a vicious cycle that must be broken, lest we all succumb to “stinking thinking” (Zig Ziglar again). Two ways we can do that are through the use of affirmation and encouragement.
On the surface they may seem like the same thing, but in reality, they are quite different. And yet, both are equally important. Affirmation is patting someone on the back for something they’ve done. Encouragement is patting someone on the back for something they have not done yet, but can and should do.
For example, affirmation is what your child receives for bringing home a report card with good grades. Encouragement is what you do to spur your child to bring home better grades than they are presently getting. Affirmation is what a person receives when they are successful in business. Encouragement is what a person receives from friends and family who know that they can succeed in the business venture they are about to embark on. Affirmation is what you get when you realize that you made the right decision. Encouragement is what you get from those who love who believe that you will make the right decision… even when you’re not sure you can. Affirmation is receiving any kind of recognition for something you have done well. Encouragement is that pat on the back people give you to let you know they believe in you… they’re behind you… they support you… they’re there for you… no matter what. Affirmation is what you get for being successful. Encouragement is something you can receive so that you won’t give up whether or not you’ve been successful at a particular time or on a particular project.
Both affirmation and encouragement are vital parts of our care and ministry to others, be it family, coworkers, or fellow parishioners here at St. Dunstan’s. The Bible is filled with words of affirmation and encouragement. In fact, Apostle Paul mentions them often in his letters to the early churches.
So, as you go about your day, whether at work or at home with your family, why not think about those to whom you can offer affirmation and those to whom you can speak words of encouragement. They may well be the same person. When you do, and watch their face light up! At the same time, you will be glorifying God and bringing a smile to His face.
Prayer: Heavenly Father, open my eyes to see the good others are doing around me. Help me to affirm them in their accomplishments and encourage them in their disappointments and failures and thereby glorify You, from whom all blessings flow. Amen.
Blessings, Fr. Steve+
